'Everything daddy fed me in 24 hours (husbands’ food diaries)'

08:29 May 29, 2021 0 0

'Yos\' Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yoscw/ Max\'s Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/versusxiii/ Email: [email protected]  This week we’re talking about food, my relationship with food, and my love for it. Like any love affair, we’ve had our ups and downs.  Growing up as someone extremely skinny, I was always shamed for the way I looked, I was bullied throughout elementary and middle school because of my lanky and effeminate appearance. Although, even more painful was that I was also told off at home because of it.  It’s always been my identifier, it’s the first thing that people back in Indonesia would say as soon as they see me. Wow, you’re so skinny or did you got even skinnier? You would look a lot more handsome with a little more weight don’t you think?  Incoming attacks like these weren’t rare, it was an everyday occurrence. Of course I’m not in any way whining about the fact that my mom overfeeds me every chance she gets, she just wanted me to appear bigger, thicker, masculine, which unfortunately for my family, I never was. This was a time in my life where I can truly say that I hated food, it was a symbol of pain, it was an emblem of my lack of mass.  I was forbidden to wear certain clothing styles or “feminine” colors like red, pink, or yellow. It came to a point where I would wear layers of long sleeved shirts to appear like I had more mass, because I was tired of being told I was too skinny. I looked ridiculous.  I started really appreciating food after I came out and my life basically came crumbling down. I had a different relationship to it because I was in survival mode. I’ve shared my coming out story in the past and I don’t really want to rehash it now but it’s the first video I’ve ever uploaded on this channel if you’re curious to know more.  Food became a source of happiness, the one thing I knew for sure that could make me feel full again. Maybe with another bite of that chicken McNuggets, my heart won’t feel as empty anymore. I was feeding my body but I was also trying feeding my soul. But of course, that feeling was always fleeting.  I slowly built my life back up again, before it came crumbling down, then back up again, then down again, until the day I met Max. Let me be clear that finding love was not the thing that saved me, but it  was what gave me a reason to keep on going.  Music: Mou Sukoshi - Atsumi Saori (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0mdOePOsdgQ&ab_channel=rin000325) Don\'t Waste My Time - Dayon (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVLh716-SCI&ab_channel=EpidemicAcoustic)' 

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• food fight
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